There is no good or bad style of counselling/therapy, only different styles to suit what appeals to a client’s needs. Every counsellor has his/her own slant on how counselling should be carried out, depending on their own background. What I offer is an integrative combination of therapeutic styles and experience has shown that that works best for me and my clients.

I don’t label my clients with any diagnostic jargon whatsoever. Regardless of my client’s issues, I restrict myself to the symptom(s) my client is primarily concerned about and then we find the solution without having to drag up the past, searching for the whys and wherefores and who’s to blame. Problems from the past always show up in the now: the past can never be changed so why dig it up and make matters worse?

Symptoms are always there for a good, normally unconscious reason: when we uncover the underlying reason the symptom disappears by itself. Nearly every problem I encounter at CounsellingHastings is relationship-based, hard as this may sometimes be to accept. The initial type of relationship we had with our caregivers generally governs the quality of all our future relationships and lifestyles. And sadly, some people never escape the effects of that initial relationship.

We are only partly aware of “why we do what we do” as our brains run so much on autopilot (otherwise we would be bombarded with unnecessary information) and this is therefore beyond our conscious awareness. A famous and profound quote I live by is “you can’t do what you want until you know what you’re doing.”

That is my specialty – making the unconscious conscious.

This explains why most people aren’t really aware of the cause of their symptoms: for example, what makes them depressed, anxious, have eating disorders, panic attacks or migraines. Typically our first action is to visit the GP to suppress the symptom. Research has shown that about 60-80% of visits to GPs are not really physical!

A very wise statement from Jung is “We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” This is another important theme to be worked on before change can occur.

In conclusion, the counsellor cannot force change magically on anyone, even my means of hypnosis, unless the client is truly ready and willing for change and not for some temporary quick fix.